when you finally have to realize that someone important to you is just determined to knock you down…it’s not a great one.

josh gets upset with me because i talk to him about how much anger, pain and drama she has caused in my life, but when i am face to face with her i can’t stand up for myself or tell her off. i have realized lately that i am just weak. i am weak, and i was trained to be. he doesn’t understand why i can’t do it, and i have no real way to explain it. 

i have done well in cutting the drama out of my life and that involves no longer talking to girls i was friends with for years, it took a long time for me to admit that i came away from every conversation, or time spent hanging out, feeling like shit. 

this one isn’t as easy, but it will be a lot easier in a week. i will have no obligation. i have learned a lot from her, that’s for sure. a long list of things i could never do or say to my children.